The Art of Discernment

The benefit of having a team to call on is as much about having them reflect on what they see as it is about helping one adhere to intentions and plans for progress.

All the while, discernment is critical. I’ve learned to take the time to understand and evaluate their perspective if I am to gain from it and learn from their insights while not letting myself be defined by their labels.

A few years ago, I discussed partnering with Lara Morgan, a successful businesswoman, to help me take Buttafly to the next level.

At one point, I remember her saying that she concluded I was one of those creative types who had many ideas and was good at starting things but didn’t follow through. “You’re not a finisher, are you?” she challenged.

In my younger years, I quickly defended myself against perceived criticism, then a lengthy period ensued when I swung the other way. No matter their credentials, I would take on board other people’s judgments, lock, stock, and smoking barrel, and berate myself accordingly.

Thankfully, this phase had passed by the time Lara cast her judgment. I had reached a point where I could be open to other people’s judgments and opinions without necessarily accepting them as my truth.

Is That Really True?

That said,  a little unexplored rub remained in this case – a similar accusation dating back to my childhood. 

From the time I was little, I was always up for exploring and trying new things: Brownies, the recorder, piano, cello, guitar, singing, swimming, then later, Guides, the Air Training Corps, acting, macrame, keeping goldfish, squash, etc. 

Thinking about doing something was never enough for me – I had to experience it before deciding whether it was really for me. My exuberance must have exhausted my parents.

Back to the Present

Recently, this subject has come up again because I’ve not finished a project I’ve been working on for quite some time. As much as I wanted to get it done, after several months of long days of writing and creating, I couldn’t find the push to complete it within the desired time frame. 

Self-doubt crept in, taking advantage of my low ebb. I began questioning whether I was procrastinating or self-sabotaging, whether perfectionism was getting in the way, or whether I was not a finisher after all. Sigh – downward spirals are only fun if you like helter-skelters! 

Getting caught up in self-inquiry is easy, especially as a solopreneur, and this alone can present an obstacle to moving forward. 

Unplanned Opportunity

This week, on a working holiday and being hosted by people I’d only ever met virtually, I’ve had the unexpected pleasure of basking in their compliments about my great job clearing their garden and cleaning up the kitchen after our shared meals.

These are small things, but they reminded me that, contrary to what others might have said or suggested, I like to see a job through to its conclusion. And, of course, there is the Buttafly itself. It could so easily have remained an idea in my head.

What’s My Motivation?

More than ever, I cannot create from a place of fear, from illusionary deadlines and self-imposed threats. I need space to breathe o-u-t, to expand my vision and to let creativity flow through me. 

Stress shuts off the creative mind, so there’s little point in forcing things. I needed a break, that’s all. 

So, here I am, enjoying a working holiday in sunny Portugal. As the saying goes, a change is as good as a rest. Under azure blue skies, I’m in my element, spending quality time on the land, wooed by garden birds, a pair of young tabby cats and a black pug determined to reverse my reticence of him.

Thank you to my hosts, Neil and Gabi, for sharing their adventures in living off-grid.